How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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