Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
