The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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