I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
