what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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