Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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