last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So much Jack, so little girl.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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