these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize