Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
