I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
