you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
