Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
