if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
