let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
