I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Randomize
