I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
