Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
People in love make me want to vomit
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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