You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
