Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
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