Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
