found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
