OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
