Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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