Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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