Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
