I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
