How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
