Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So here I am, sexting at work.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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