i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
