I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You can't special order awesome
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
