Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
