all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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