I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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