Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
