This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
