Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
