More tranny stories later!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
