I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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