just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
