tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
