Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
