I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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