I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize