I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Randomize
