i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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