you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
