please come you make the beer taste better
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
