I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
