is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Can I color on your dick again?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
