I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
She needs sedatives and a leash
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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