Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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