walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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