so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
