Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
