He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
