but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I touched a dick in church today
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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