id be glad to
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize