If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I need to align my fucking chakras
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
