You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
