New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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