i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
it hurts more in the daytime
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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