gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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