pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
