Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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