I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize