If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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