my being single is dangerous.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
