So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
