i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
