I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
