bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
