I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
