not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I need water and some morals
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
