I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My pussy is not your playground.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
