He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Holy sore nipples Batman
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize