I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
